Let’s count it down from the beginning (true story):
5:53 am – 1 year old daughter is awake and screaming 4 year old son’s name. Father pretends not to hear her – proceeds to play a video game on his phone.
6:01 am – Father pries out of bed to intercept happy yet boisterous 1 year old.
6:03 am – Father changes diaper of daughter who thinks the changing table is a gymnastics apparatus from the 70’s
6:07 am – Failed attempt at waking a (clearly awake) 4 year old.
(T-minus 1 hour until departure time)
6:26 am – debate with son over the proper breakfast food.
6:27 am – cave to 4 year old’s idea to stopping at the neighborhood bakery before school (never again – until tomorrow)
6:30 am – Ask 4 year old to put on his shoes. 1 year old gets EVERYONES shoes.
6:32 am – repeat yourself – twice.
6:35 am – 4 year old is hungry, asking for food barefooted. 1 year old is sitting by the door with her shoes in her hand, trying to put them on -then pretending they are gloves.
6:42 am – Son’s lunch is packed. Son is laying on the floor without shoes. 1 year old “kindly” reminds him by placing them “gently” on his face.
6:56 am – 4 year old finally stops crying
(T-minus 10 minutes until scheduled departure)
7:00 am – 4 year old has one shoe on, while lobbying to bring every toy in existence to school. Father says “yes” as a clever distraction to get the other shoe on. Success!
7:07 am – 4 year old, realizing he’s been duped, falls on the floor in a fit of defeat. 1 year old by the door (trying to turn the knob) rolls her eyes at the 4 year old.
(Departure time delayed)
7:10 am – Both kids are finally out of the door. 4 year old(perfectly fine) asks the Father (who has CP) if he can be carried because his legs hurt. 1 year old is at the car trying to open their respective car doors for the Father and brother.
7:13 am – Father sighs a breath of relief as both kids are secure in the car. Father closes the last car door.
7:15 am – Father’s eyes open from a deep breath as he relishes in his alone time, the few steps it takes to get to the Drivers seat.
7:16 am – The morning’s silence is disrupted as the door cracks open to two kids arguing over a stuffed animal that was left in the car the night before.
7:20 am – Both kids are miraculously silenced (censored). The father puts the car in gear and drives off…
To be continued…
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